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Here's Alison: The Long Drop

It doesn't pay to be too cheeky when you are a tiny animal. Alison Ross's poem is based on a story told to her by the owner of a guinea pig.

Id seen her knickers many times
As I gazed up from the grass
But until that day Id never seen
Her tiny round bare arse!

We were playing in the garden
While the sun shone in the sky
Not for a single minute
Did I think that I might die

If my memories serves correctly
She scooped my off my feet
Ran into the Long Drop
And placed me on the seat

With her wee bare arse before me
I walked across to see
And tumbled down into the hole
Into that mucky sea

I squealed for help
She screamed out too
While help came running
To the loo

Finally they rescued me
From all that smelly muck
They washed me in the garden
But oh, how that smell stuck

The moral of this story
To guinea pigs like me
Is never look at bare bums
In the lavatory.


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