The Scrivener: 'Dr' Graham And His Amazing Magnetic Bed
…The Celestial Bed was twelve feet long and nine feet wide. It was supported by 40 richly coloured glass pillars. Above it emanated 'reviving invigorating influences'. Beneath it were great lodestones 'continually pouring forth in an ever-flowing circle, inconceivable and irresistibly powerful tides of the magnetic effluvium'…
Brian Barratt tells of the audacious 'Dr' Graham who offered electrical therapy for sexual problems to refined clients who could afford his fees. Others could pay a smaller fee just to gawk and ogle at the splendidly appointed rooms of the Temple of Health.
Do please visit Brian's invigorating Web site www.alphalink.com.au/~umbidas/
In the early 1800's, well-off ladies and gentlemen who desired superior pleasure and ecstasy resulting in offspring could visit The Temple of Health in London. For a payment of £50, the wonderful curative magnetic powers of the Celestial Bed were made available to them.
The Celestial Bed was twelve feet long and nine feet wide. It was supported by 40 richly coloured glass pillars. Above it emanated 'reviving invigorating influences'. Beneath it were great lodestones 'continually pouring forth in an ever-flowing circle, inconceivable and irresistibly powerful tides of the magnetic effluvium'.
The mattress was stuffed with the finest hair from the tails of English stallions, among other helpful ingredients. Fragrances and sweet music permeated the room. Goddesses of health — in the form of very young ladies clad in very little clothing — entertained clients while the magnetic currents of the bed cured their, shall we say, intimate deficiencies. One of the goddesses was 16-year-old Amy Lyons, who later became Lady Emma Hamilton and assisted Lord Nelson in intimate efficiency.
The Temple of Health also offered such facilities as magnetic thrones and electrically charged baths. Fiery dragons, presumably sculptured, emitted 'torrents' of stimulating and healing electric energy. The enthusiastic promoter behind all this was James Graham (1745–1795). He promised 'immediate conception to any gentleman and his lady desirous of progeny'. As well as offering his 'medico-electrical apparatus' he recommended that clients indulge in 'fervent prayer'.
James Graham had studied medicine at Edinburgh University but did not graduate. That didn't deter him from calling himself Dr Graham. He visited America and was impressed by Benjamin Franklin's work with electricity. By 1777, 'Dr' Graham was offering electrical therapy for sexual problems to refined clients who could afford his fees. Others could pay a smaller fee just to gawk and ogle at the splendidly appointed rooms of the Temple of Health.
The 'doctor' lectured each day, for two hours at a time, on how barrenness could be overcome. These public lectures in plain language continued after he had sold his Temple and returned to Edinburgh. The plain speaking got him into trouble with the local magistrate, who fined him. His willing audience paid the fine for him, and he continued his explicit lectures. It is reported that he spent a few spells in prison, too.
He developed the idea that immersing himself naked in warm mud would cure all manner of ailments. He was accompanied by a naked young lady in this curious process which would also help them to live for 150 years. A quack he might have been, but he also had strong ideas about the healthy life. He lectured against eating meat and drinking alcohol, and recommended cold baths and open windows.
Practising what he preached, he wore as little clothing as possible. There were times when he took off all his clothes in the street and gave them to poor people. During bitterly cold Scottish winters, this wasn't really a very good idea. Nor was his use of opium.
During the 1780's, Graham produced tracts preaching against popery, slavery, colonialism and other issues of the day.
Relapsing into religious mania, he began to look forward to the new Jerusalem, in a visionary biblical sense, calling himself The Servant of the Lord O.W.L., which stood for 'Oh, Wonderful Love'.
He became more irrational to the point of madness but died suddenly at the age of 49. A ruptured blood vessel cut short his hope of living for 150 years. He might have been an eccentric, a fraud, and a very persuasive salesman, but he was 150 years ahead of his time in speaking openly about sexual problems.
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References
Note: There are differing versions of this story.
— Encyclopædia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite 2007.
Donaldson, W., Brewer's Rogues, Villains & Eccentrics: An A–Z of Roguish Britons Through the Ages, Cassell, London 2002.
Magnusson, Magnus (Ed.), Chambers Biographical Dictionary, 5th ed., Chambers, Edinburgh 1990.
Newnham, R., The Guiness Book of Fakes, Frauds & Forgeries, Guinness Publishing, Enfield, Middlesex, 1991.
http://www.erudit.org/revue/ron/2001/v/n23/005991ar.html
http://www.general-anaesthesia.com/images/james-graham.html
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/09/1047144867398.html
This version © Copyright Brian Barratt 2008
