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Fast Fiction: Old Grover

...He'd told me that a girl he worked with in accounts had fallen in love with him. 'It's the way she smiles at me . . . and she always gets as close to me as possible so that there can be bodily contact.'...

Richard Mallinson tells a tale about an old man who has a problem. Or has he?

'Well,' I said to old Grover as we sat in my car, 'time to get back.'

He finished his sandwich. I drove slowly through several streets.

'Thanks for listening to me,' he said.

'That's all right. And don't you worry. I'll see what I can do.'

'Thanks again,' he said, getting out. 'I knew you'd understand.'

Understand? You bet I didn't!

He'd told me that a girl he worked with in accounts had fallen in love with him. 'It's the way she smiles at me . . . and she always gets as close to me as possible so that there can be bodily contact.'

'What's her name?'

'Vera.'

'Good heavens, she's stunning. Why on earth should she want to go for an old ... for a person so much older than herself?'

'I don't know,' he'd said. 'I really don't. She doesn't seem to realise that I'm not available.'

'It's sexual harassment,' said Victor Barke, our personnel manager.

'What!' I exclaimed. 'You can't be serious.'

'Yes, this time it's the man who's the victim . . . Let's find out if old Grover wishes to lodge a formal complaint. He has every right to protect himself from unwanted attentions, don't you think?'

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