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Yorkshire Dialect: T'Parson 'at Gate t' Bird

Mike Shaw tells a tale about a witty parrot.

Yar Ethel 'ad been reeadin' in' th' Examiner abaat aah dog owners can be tekken ter court an' fahned naahdays if ther pets dirty t' pavements.

"Abaat tahme an' awl," shoo sed. "Sometahmes it's just lahke walkin' through a mahnefield wen tha'r gooin' daan t' street."

"Ah but tha's ter catch 'em on t' job afooar tha can do owt abaat it," Ah replahd.

Ethel wondered if it maht put a few fowk off keepin' a dog as a pet.

"An' that'd be a good thing an' awl, cos Ah've seen as monny as four or fahve dogs rooamin' raand 'ere tergether," shoo added.

"Well, if they switch fra dogs ter cats that maht be even war," Ah sed. "If tha gets tuthri tomcats wailin' at one another in t' middle o' t' neet tha'd sooin be grumblin'.

"Ah reckon they'd awl be better gettin' a budgie apiece. Or 'appens a parrot. Tha can 'ave a bit o' fun wi' them, tha nooas."

"Yus, an' if Ah know thee tha'd be teychin' t' parrot a lot o' words it shouldn't be sayin'," replahd Ethel.

"Wat, lahke yond parrot 'at Jooa Sykes used ter 'ave," Ah sed. "Yond wer a reight case if ivver ther wer one.

"Ah remember it used ter 'ave a blue ribbon on one of its legs an' a red un on t' other.
"One day t' parson called ter see Jooa's missus an' 'e asked wat t' ribbons wer for.

"Jooa explained at wen tha pulled t' blue ribbon t' parrot sang t' first verse of Onward Christian Soldiers an' if tha pulled t' red un it sang All Things Braht an' Beautiful.

"T' parson sed that wer varry clivver. But wat 'appened if tha pulled 'em booath tergether, 'e asked.

"Ah'd fall off mi bloomin' perch, yer daft beggar!" cackled t' parrot.


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