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Yorkshire Dialect: Browt Daan Bi a Little Fast Cat

Disaster strikes when our hero does a bit of painting in Mike Shaw's latest dialect tale.

Ah wer sittin' back afta breakfast, at peace wi' t' world, wen yar Ethel browt me daan ter earth t' other day.

"Ah dooan't know aah tha can sit theer day dreeamin' wen ther's wark ter be done," shoo chuntered. "Ere's me fettlin' an' cookin' day afta day, but Ah've ter keep on naggin' at thee ter get ivvery little job done."

"Well tha'r good enough ter nag for England, sooa tha's ter get a bit o' practice in," Ah replahd. "If Ah remember reight, Ah've done awl t' jobs tha put on mi worksheet, so Ah wer just 'avin' a quahrt fahve minnits."

Ethel glared at me as shoo grabbed 'er duster an' remahnded me 'at t' front dooar frame wanted paintin'. "Ah dooan't know whah t' paint's flakin' off wi' t' bit o' sun we've 'ad, but it wants a fresh coit on afooar winter," shoo snapped.

"Ther's nooa tahme lahke t' present," Ah replahd. "It looks lahke t' rain maht keep off terday, sooa Ah'll mek a start."

Afta Ah'd getten t' woodwork sanded daan Ah moved mi stepladder up sooa Ah could paint above t' dooar. Ah ,wer gettin' on reight well until awl on a sudden yar cat, Sally, shot aat of a bush an' gave me such a fraht Ah lost mi balance on t' steps.

Ah went daan wi' a reight crash, an' t' paint went awl' ovver t' garden path as t' can flew aat o' mi 'and.

Ethel came bustlin' aat ter see wat wer up, an' wen Ah telled 'er it wer t' cat ter blame shoo laughed lahke a drain. "Nay, surely tha can think up a better tale ner that," shoo sed.

"Whah dun't ter admit tha ran aat o' oxygen cos tha'r nooan used ter beein' sooa 'igh up!"


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