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Yorkshire Dialect: Callin' Tahme on Dooase o’ Politics

Mike Shaw's Yorkshire characters muse upon political matters.

Ah wer talkin' at t' club last week wi' Jack Bamforth abaat watchin' th' MPs fra th' Haas o' Commons on telly.

“They’ve plenty o’ chelp wen they get daan theer, but tha nivver yers 'em speykin much onnywheer else,” Ah sed.

“T' trouble is 'at ivverything's geared up for telly these days,” Jack replahd.

“They're awl jumpin' up an' daan lahke jack i' boxes at question tahme cos they know t' cameras are on 'em.

“An' if tha nooatices, ther's allis plenty on 'em on t' second row cos that way they’ll get i' t' picture.”

Ah nodded mi yed cos Ah've seen 'em missen, an' Ah reckon some on 'em lean forrard as much as they can ter get ther face on telly.

“Tha dun't see Mps speykin at big meeting ivvery week same as they used ter do,” Ah sed.

“They dooan’t even bother at election tahme naahdays.”

Jack sed 'e thowt they’d given it up as a bad job cos nooan monny fowk turned up wen they did 'ave a meetin'.

“Ah can remember wen t’ Taan Hall i' Uddersfield wer packed ter t’ dooars, but they can’t be bothered ter turn aat naah.”

“Tha'r reight i' wat tha sez, Jack,” Ah telled ‘im. "At t' last political meetin' Ah went to ther wer nobbut a dozen or sooa theer an' hauf o' them 'ad gooan bi hauf-past eight.

“Ah'll give t' speyker 'is due, 'e stuck at it, but at fahve minnits ter nahne ther wer ooanly me reight at t' back, an' another chap on t' front row left in th' audience.

“This 'ere chap at t' front kept lookin' at 'is watch an’ in t' finish t' speyker sed ‘e thowt it wer tahme 'e sat daan.

“Afooar 'e gave up talkin' 'e telled this chap aah pleased 'e wer at 'e'd stopped ter yer awl 'e'd 'ad ter say.

“Oh, it's awl part o' t' job,” this fella replahd. “Ah wer baan ter shut thee up onnyrooad, cos Ah'm t' caretaker an' it's just abaat tahme ter lock up.”


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