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Yorkshire Dialect: Get Well Sooin

Those club committee meetings leave some members freeling less than charitable, as Mike Shaw's dialect tale reveals.

Ah've learned fra past experience ovver monny yeears nivver ter volunteer fer owt unless tha knows exactly wat tha'r lettin' thissen in fer.

Twenty yeears back they wer shooart o' fowk ter serve on t' club committee an' Jack Bamforth talked me inta puttin' mi name forrard.

That wer one o' t' daftest things Ah've ivver done, an' Ah nobbut did twelve months afooar Ah gate aat as quick as Ah could.

Ivvery other meetin' a row o' some sooart blew up, an' mooar often ner not it wer ovver summat an' nowt.

We gate ter a reight noit, even daan ter arguin' ovver wat colour o' toilet rolls we should put in t' ladies' lavatories.

Ah wouldn't 'ave mahnded, but i' them days ther wer 'ardly a woman came inta t' spot, let alooane went ter t' toilet.

Then ther's allis one or two on a committee 'at let's a bit o' power gooa ter ther yeds.
We 'ad one i' them days 'at wer t' chairman, an' 'e ran t' bloomin' meetings lahke a little Hitler.

Wen 'e gate fed up o' listenin' ter t' rest of us talkin' summat ovver 'e banged 'is 'ammer on t' table an' sed: "Discussion ovver, tahme ter vooate" whether we wanted ter say owt else or not.

Fra wat Jack tells me, they've getten a secretary naah 'at's just lahke a dictator.
Accoardin' ter Jack, 'e's getten a yed on 'im as big as t' rest on 'em put tergether, an' e's fair put ther backs up.

Wen Ah went daan ter t' club last Frahday, Jack cornered me as sooin as Ah gate through t' dooar an' telled me t' secretary wer i' 'ospital.

"E's getten prostate trouble," sed Jack, "sooa we've 'ad a quick meetin' o' t' committee an' we're baan ter send 'im a get-well card.

"Some on us wanted ter put on 'at t' decision wer med ooanly on t' chairman's castin' vooate, but we thowt better on it!"


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