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Yorkshire Dialect: Bendin' t' MOT Rules

Mike Shaw's dialect-speaking "hero'' reveals that you can still touch your toes, even if you have a bad back.

Yar doctor's getten a new idea inta 'is yed. Ivverybody 'at's ovver 60 or getten a dicky ticker 'as ter be checked ovver once a yeear.

"It's just t' same as an MOT ter mek sure ivverythin's functionin' as it should," sed Ethel.

Shoo went on 'er own fer 'er check-up cos Ah refused ter gooa.

A couple o' days afta, Ah gate another letter fra t' surgery givin' me th' 'ard word cos Ah'd nooan been.

Ethel sed they'd pester me awl winter if Ah din't gooa, sooa in t' finish Ah gave in.

"Tha'll feel a lot better wen tha gets ter know tha'r fit an' 'ealthy," shoo telled me.

Ah wer nooan sooa impressed missen, but wen t' day came raand Ah put mi cap an' coit on afta breakfast an' set off fer t' surgery.

On t' way theer Ah wer trahin' ter work aat aah long it wer sin' Ah last saw t' doctor, an' Ah reckoned it wer two or three yeears.

Ah'd ter wait abaat 20 minnits ter see t' doctor cos ther wer Maggie Dyson in front o' me.

Maggie's one o' them women 'at nivver shut ther clack an' Ah wer beginnin' ter feel sorry for t' poor doctor as t' minnits ticked away.

Wen Ah did get inta see 'im 'e looked through 'is papers an' then sed: 'Right, we'll get cracking. First of all I'd like you to touch your toes."

Well, nearly ivverybody knows Ah've getten a bad back, but Ah weren't baan ter let 'im know.

Sooa Ah just slipped mi booits off and put mi feet up on a cheear. "That's an eeasy un, sooa wat else 'as ter getten fer me!" Ah quipped, as Ah gate owld o' mi tooas.


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