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Yorkshire Dialect: Mah Shock Cure

There’s more than one way to cure hiccups, as Mike Shaw reveals in this dialect tale.

We wer haufway through us teea t’ other day wen awl of a sudden Ethel gate a fit o’ ‘iccups.

“That’s wi’ talkin’ ser much whahle tha’r eytin,” Ah telled ‘er. “Tha knows aah long it teks thee ter stop ‘icupin’. Tha could gooa on an’ on till bedtahme.”

“Oh, listen ter Job’s comforter,” shoo replahd, standin’ up straight an’ ‘owdin’ ‘er breath.

Wen that din’t work shoo sed, “Ah remember naah wat Ah did ter cure it last tahme. Ah blew inta a braan paper bag, but ther’s a reight way o’ dooin’ it.

“Ah wrote it daan on a bit o’ paper an’ put it behand t’ clock on t’ mantelpiece. Tha can mek thissen useful an’ reead it aat for me.”

Afta Ah’d fun t’ paper Ah telled Ethel it sed shoo’d ter blow in an’ aat o’ t’ bag ten tahmes baat lettin’ onny air in.

Ethel nodded an’ blew as ‘ard as shoo could until shoo wer as read as a beetrooit.

Ah thowt for a minnit ‘at it’d done t’ trick, but th’ ‘iccups started up ageean, just as bad as befooare.

Ethel wer lookin’ fair pitiful bi this tahme, till Ah started laffin’ an’ sed, “Ey up, thi knickers are fallin’ daan.”

Shoo grabbed at ‘er waist an’ sed, “Nowt o’ t’ sooart, yer daft ayporth.”

Ah gave ‘er a big grin an’ telled ‘er, “Appens not, but it’s stopped thi ‘iccups.”

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