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Yorkshire Dialect: Ready Money

Mike Shaw’s dialect tale tells of a way to make money from a mugger.

Yar Ethel’s flaid stiff o’ gooin ‘aat on ‘er ooan at neet cos of awl t’ muggings ‘at’s gooin’ on.

“Ther’s another three in terneet’s paper,” shoo telled me whahle shoo wer reeadin’ th’ Examiner.

“Thar’ nooan safe, even i’ brooad dayleet,” Ah sed. “If tha asks me we’ve gooan back ter t’ days o’ Dick Turpin, except naah they dooan’t just pick on fowk wi’ plenty o’ brass.

“Nah then, Ah’ve getten a reight good puzzle for thee. Aah can ter be mugged but still finish up wi’ mooar brass ner tha started wi’?”

Wen Ethel sed shoo wer stumped Ah telled ‘er aah it could ‘appen.

“Ah wer talkin’ yesterday wi’ Jooa Sykes an’ ‘e let me in on aah it wer done.”

Apparently, ‘is brother, Sam, wer shopin’ in t’ Packhorse precinct wen a scruffy young fella bumped inta ‘im as ‘e went raand a cooarner an’ then started rushin’ away.

Sam felt in ‘is pocket an’ fun ‘is wallet weren’t theear. Sooa ‘e set off afta this lad, shaatin’ “Drop that wallet!” an’ a bit further on t’ lad threw a wallet away.

He felt fair chuffed ‘at ‘e’d getten it back.

It wer ooanly wen ‘e gate wom ‘at ‘e ‘ad a proper look at it, just as ‘e spotted ‘is ooan wallet on t’ sahdebooard.


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