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Yorkshire Dialect: Knee Jerk Reactions

Casual words in the scrum can lead to a broken jaw, as Mike Shaw's dialect tale reveals.

Me an' Jack Bamforth wer talkin' abaat rugby wen we met up bi chance at t' Rooase an' Craan this week.

"It's abaat th' ooanly spooart England can lick onnybody at these days," Ah sed as Ah ordered a couple o'pahnts. "T' soccer teeam's slipped up badly an' t' cricketers aren't i' t' same class as th' Aussies. Th' ooanly thing they can catch is a bad cowld, an' ther batters dooan't get as monny runs as me after a neet on Tetleys."

Jack sed 'e'd watched t' rugby union match between England an' Saath Africa last Satdy, an' it wer a reight rough affair. "Yar lot 'ad ter tek a 'ammerin'fra start ter finish, an' Ah reckon some o' t' Saath Africans thowt it wer a wrestling match."

Ah telled 'im it saanded a dirty game fra wat Ah'd read in t' papers, an' Ah wer fair pleeased we licked 'em. "Mahnd thee, Ah've allis thowt it wer a dangerous game, wat wi' these fellas on t' graand beein' stamped on an' suchlahke."

Jack remahnded me 'at it wer just t'same wen 'e laiked for a looacal team. "Ther wer awl sooarts gooin' on 'at t' referee knew nowt abaat," 'e sed. "Wen we gate tergether in a scrum ther wer looads o' backchat an' mooast of it weren't varry nahce.

"Ah remember Charlie France puttin' one o' t' other sahde i' 'ospital wi' a brokken jaw, but nubdy saw 'im do it an' 'e reckoned 'e wer verbally provooaked.

"Apparently, in a scrum wen ther faces were nobbut a few inches apart, this bloke muttered ter Charlie: 'Ah yer thi missus 'as ooanly been unfaithful twice. Once wi' t' next-dooar neighbour an' once wi' t' rest o' t' rugby teeam!"


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