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Yorkshire Dialect: Viewin' Stuff

Mike Shaw's dialect character reveals that he will never make a fortune from antiques.

Ah wer just baan ter turn t' telly off at dinner-tahme one day last week wen this 'ere proogramme abaat antiques came on.

"This is a reight funny do," Ah sed ter Ethel. "This prooagramme's on at neet an'awl. Ther's another un on abaat auctions called Flog It an' that lasts fer a full haar just afooar tea.

"What wi' th' Antiques Rooadshow an' awl, t' BBC's floodin' us aat wi' talk abaat fahndin' summat in th' attic an' takking it ter be selled at auction."

Ethel replahd 'at shee'd nooaticed that an' awl. "If it's nooan antiques it's cookin, an' if it's nooan cookin' it's DIY, an' if it's nooan DIY it's gardenin'," shoo sed.

Ah wer still watchin' this bit wheer a chap's owd jug wer worth a couple o' 'undred quid, an' Ah telled Ehtel it wer fair interestin'. "Ah'm sure we've getten summat worth floggin' tucked away somewheer," Ah sed.

Afta dinner we gate ready fer a trip ter taan cos Ethel wanted some new curtains fer t' front room an' shoo wanted mah opinion afooar shoo bowt 'em.

As we wer walkin' on ter t' market Ethel stopped ter 'ave a look in a china shop's winda. "Sithee, tha talks abaat mekkin brass aat o' jugs an' whatnot. Look aah dear that bloomin' plate is."

Ah pressed mi face reight up ter t' winda an' replahd: "Oh, aye, but tha's ter know wat tha'r dooin'. That's proper pot tha nooas."

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