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Yorkshire Dialect: Little Lad wi’ One Big Worry

Little Jake was most distressed when the Bible was opened.

Mike Shaw tells another dialect story with a chuckle in its tail.

To read more of Mike’s dialect words please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/yorkshire_dialect/

Yar Ethel wer awl of a doodah wen shoo gate a letter t' other day fra 'er cousin Kathleen.

"Ee, that's a grand surprahse," shoo sed as shoo read it. "Kath-leen's dowter, Jean, is comin' up fra Oxford fer a few days an' shoo'd lahke ter pop in an' see us. Shoo wants ter tek 'er little lad, Jake, ter t' chapel on Sunday, seein' as shoo went theer fer awl them yeears afooar shoo gate wed an' went to live away.

"They're stoppin' wi' Muriel at Slawit, sooa Ah'll let 'er know they can come ower fer teea on Sunday afooar we awl gooa ter t' chapel."

Ah puffed away at mi pahpe an' telled 'er, "Ah 'ope tha'r nooan expectin' me ter gooa wi' thee, cos ther's a big bowlin’ match on 'at Ah'm gooin' ter wi' Jack Bamforth."

"Tha can pleease thissen wat tha does, as long as it dun't interfere wi' yar plans," shoo replahd.

Wen Sunday came raand Jean an' Jake arrahved abaat three o' clock an' Ah took 'em on a guided tour o' t' back garden ter show off mi produce.

Young Jake telled me 'e wer due ter gooa ter t' big schooil this yeear wen 'e's eleven, an' 'e wer chatterin' away twenty ter t' dozen.

Afta teea Ethel ah' Jean did t' washin' up an' then gate ready fer t' chapel wi' Jake, who looked nooan reight keen.

Ah went up ter t' bowlin' match an' wen Ah gate back Ethel wer on 'er own cos Jean didn't want Jake ter be late ter bed.

Ah asked Ethel aah they'd gooan on an' shee sed ivverythin' went off awlreight, an' Jake 'ad ivverybody i' stitches durin' t' ser¬vice.

"T' parson went ter t' lectern an' oppened t' big Bible ter read t' lesson," shoo sed. "Jake wer sittin' between me an' 'is mum, an' 'e leeaned ovver ter me an' whispered, "E's nooan baan ter read aat awl o' that, is 'e?"


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