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Yorkshire Dialect: Mixed Spirits In't Army

Mike Shaw's Yorkshire characters muse on Army life.

For more of Mike's columns please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/yorkshire_dialect/

Me an’ Jack Bamforth wer ‘aviin’ a good laff abaat us Army days whahle we wer sittin’ on a bench near t’ canal.

“Asta been watchin’ that prooagramme on telly abaat young lads posin’ as First World War recruits?” ‘e asked.

“Yus, Ah saw a couple on ‘em but Ah think it wer a bit over t’ top missen,” Ah replied.

“Ah’m sure it weren’t as bad as that i’ 1940 wen thee an’ me wer called up.

“Ah did get a good dressin-daan wen mi kit weren’t up ter scratch once, but yar corporal nivver tipped t’ beds over ‘at Ah can remember.”

Jack paused ter refuel ‘is pahpe an sed they din’t ‘ave tahme fer that sooart o’ daft wark durin’ t’ war.

“They shoved us inta action as sooin as they could, not lahke yond lads dooin’ their National Service afta t’ war.”

Ah reckoned ‘e wer reight theer. “Ther wer a few rough tahmes, but we’d a lot o’ laffs an’ awl,” Ah telled ‘im.

“It wer comical watchin’ t’ camp barber givin’ as awl ‘is version of shooart back an’ sahdes.

“Come ter think abaat it, that stahle ud be reight I’ fashion naah ‘at young uns are ‘avin’ ther yeds shaved.”

Jack sed ‘e wer bund ter laff wen t’ sergeant asked wat their religions wer.

“Mooast on ‘em gazed blankly at ‘im, sooa ‘e clapped awl on ‘em daan as C of E.

“But ther wor one little comic who sed, ”Well, mi dad’s a Methodist an’ mi mother’s a Spiritualist, sooa Ah suppooase that meks mahne methylated spirit.”


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