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Fast Fiction: Eye For An Eye

Nasty piece of work, Flack Allard. But should the vicar and his mate try to teach him a lesson?

Richard Mallinson tells a story of retribution and fear.

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When Flack Allard came back to the village with a new woman, I knew it wouldn't be long before he started on her.

'This time,' I said to Ted, one of my parishioners, 'we'll teach him a lesson.'

A few days later I saw the woman as she hurried along the pavement. She had a hideous black eye.

'Hm, what's happened to you, then?' I asked, trying to sound casual.

'Eh, what's it got to do with yow?' she countered.

'Well,' I said, tapping my dog collar, 'I do make it my business to - '

'Aag, another of them religious tossers, are yer? ... Anyway, if yow really must know, I bumped into a door.'

That night Ted and I trailed Flack after he'd left the pub. He went down an unlit side road and we pulled him onto a patch of waste ground.

'Greetings, Flack,' I said, twisting a rope tightly round his arms and legs.

'Hey, vicar,' he yelled, squinting at me, 'what the devil's goin on, eh?'

'This is for what you've done to that woman,' I said and punched him hard in the eye, causing him to yelp with pain. Ted then jabbed him in the same eye.

'She bumped into a door,' Flack gasped. 'It's the truth.'

'Well, then,' Ted said, 'it's for all the other women you've beaten up, you - '

I unfastened the rope and Flack slid to the ground, where we left him.

Next day, the woman came up to me outside the church and said, 'Yeah, he did bash me but yow shouldn't ave blacked his eye. He's goin to kill yow both.'

At which I hurried to Ted's place and told him what the woman had said.

'Oh, Flack's putting a brave face on it, is he?' joked Ted, doing the same.


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