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Yorkshire Dialect: Message From Above

Fine words were exchanged when the vicar came to call, as Mike Shaw reveals.

Wen Ah wer 'avin' a pahnt in t' Rooase an' Craan wi' Jack Bamforth t' other day, in comes t' Vicar an' ordered a hauf o' Guinness.

" 'E's a pretty good fella for a parson, in't 'e?" Ah asked Jack.

"Oh, aye, ther's nowt up wi' 'im," Jack replahd. " 'E's one o' t'lads really. It's nooan long sin' 'e qualified. 'E wer a coil miner afooar that, sooa 'e knows wat meks fowk lahke me an' thee tick."

We gate onta t' subject o' cricket, an' t' Vicar went up i' mah estimation cos 'e knew sooa much abaat it. Jack 'ad met 'im afooar an' e remahnded 'im abaat a weddin' rehearsal a few weeks sin'.

"T' brahdegroom wer a reight keen cricketer an' 'e wer introducin' t' Vicar ter
ivverybody. Wen 'e gate raand ter Donald Hirst, t' groom sed: "Ere's mi twelfth
man. Sorry, Ah meean mi best man.

"They awi 'ad a reight good laugh abaat it, especially wen t' Vicar called no-ball an' they'd better start ageean."

T' Vicar supped up an'sed 'e'd a few mooar calls ter mek sooa 'e'd better be movin' on. Afta 'e'd gooan Jack sed 'e'd a reight good sense o' 'umour.

" 'E runs late monny a tahme cos fowk stop 'im in t' street fer a bit o' banter. A few weeks back 'e wer late ageean an' called at a haas araand teea-tahme.

"A table were set in t' dinin' room an' t' woman wer obviously expectln' 'er 'unsband worn onny minnit.

"Is that thee, angel?" shee shaated fra upsteears.

"No, but Ah'm fra t' same department!" repland t' Vicar.


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