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Yorkshire Dialect: Bargainin' over Yar Ethel

Mike Shaw's dialect tale tells of an extra-special bargain.

Yar Ethel an' me wer discussin' wat we should 'ave fer a lunchtahme snack t' other day.

"Ah'll tell thee wat, Ah fair fancy beeans on tooast," Ah telled 'er."

"Tha'll atta wait an' see if we've getten onny beeans fer a start," shoo replahd.
Sooa off shoo trotted inta t' kitchen an' ther wer awl sooarts o' bangins an' bumpins afooar shoo reappeared.

"Tha would pick summat 'at wer on t' top shelf in t' kitchen cupboard," shoo mumbled. "Tha'r varry lucky an' awl, cos it's t' last un we've getten."

"Well, we dooan't want mooar ner one, otherwahse we'll be full o' wind fer a fortneet," Ah sed.

Ethel gave me one of 'er nasty looks an' went back inta t' kitchen ter tooast some bread.

A minnit or two afta, Ah could yer 'er grooanin', an' wen Ah went ter see wat wer gooin' on. Ethel wer wrestlin' wi' t' tin o' beeans as if it wer a bar o' sooap.

"It's nooa good, this tin-oppener's brokken," shoo complained. "Tha'll atta wait till we can get another."

"Nay, ther's nooa need for that," Ah replahd. "Ah'll nip on ter th' 'ardware shop an' get a new un fra Percy. 'E's bund ter 'ave one or two i' stock."

Ah gate mi cap an' coit on an' tuk a short cut through t' ginnel sooa Ah came aat just opposite Percy's shop.

"Ah want a new tin-oppener fer yar Ethel," Ah telled Percy.

His een lit up lahke a couple o' leet bulbs an' 'e sed: "Dosta know, Bill, that's t' best bargain offer Ah've 'ad fer yeears!"


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