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Yorkshire Dialect: Drinking

In his latest dialect tale Mike Shaw reveals the two reasons for drinking.

Awl this 'ot weather we've been 'avin' lately must've 'ad landlords rubbin' ther 'ands between pullin' pahnts.

Wen Ah popped daan ter t' club Ah wer capped ter see hauf a dozen o' t' lads sittin' on a bench aatsahde.

"It’s ter warm ter be in theer," sed Jooa Sykes as 'e 'ad a swig of 'is ale. "It's just lahke an oven, sooa mooast of us 'ave come aat for a bit o' fresh air. Mahnd thee, ther's still a few insahde, sweeatin' cobs Ah should think.

Jack Bamforth's in 'is usual seeat lookin' as cool as a cucum¬ber, an' Willie Taylor sed 'e'd be flat aat if 'e mixed sunshahne an' best bitter."

Onnyrooad, Ah went in an' sat missen daan next ter Jack, who gate on abaat aah much sun 'e'd 'ad in t' last war.

"Wen Ah wer one o' t' Desert Rats it wer sooa 'ot 'at tha could frah an egg on t' bonnet of a tank," 'e sed. "Ah'd enough sun i' them six months ter last me a lahfetahme, sooa Ah'm nooan capped wi' it."

Ah took a reight good sup o' mi ale an' sed 'e wer bund ter admit it wer reight suppin' weather.

"Gooin' back monny yeears, Ah used ter get hauf a crate o' Red Label Bass delivered ter th' haas bi a firm called Thomas's, of Elland,” Ah telled him.

"Ah'll allis remember wat Elias Dyson sed at 'is nahnetieth birthday party. ‘E sed ther wer two reeasons fer drinkin'. T' first un, wen tha'r thirsty, is ter cure it. T'second un, wen tha'r nooan thirsty, is ter prevent it. An' prevention's allis better ner t' cure!"


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