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Yorkshire Dialect: Eytin 'umble pah

Our Ethel has an unexpected response to a request for a menu change in Mike Shaw's latest dialect tale.

We've getten a bit of a reglar routine at yar haas fer wat we eyt at dinnertahme durin' t' week. Monday it's allis collops, med fra taities left ovver fra Sunday, an wat remains o' t' weekend joint.

Tuesday's fish day, 'appens a bit o' cod or 'addock, an' Wednesday's usually sausage an' bacon.

Thursday's mah favourite o' meyt an' potato pah i' winter, an' on Frahday it's allis fish an' chips fra t' shop daan t' rooad.

Last Frahday, whahle we wer scoffin' us fish an' chips, Ah telled yar Ethel Ah'd getten a special request. "It's ter do wi' t' dinner next Tuesday," Ah sed, 'an afooar tha sez owt, Ah'm well aware 'at tha lahkes thi pooached cod."

"Y that case, tha'll nooan be suggestin' owt different, Ah 'ope," shoo replahd.

"Well, it's a special occasion, lahke, cos it's Pancake Tuesday," Ah sed.
"Awl Ah'm sayin' is 'at it'd be nahce ter 'ave a couple o' pancakes asteead o' thi fish, ter keep up tradition."

"Tha knows varry weel 'at we booited that tradition aat o' t' winda a few yeears back cos pancakes gie me shockin' 'eartburn,' Ethel replahd.

"Well, tha could allis 'ave a slahce o' jam an' breead fer once," Ah suggested, "cos tha's still getten some o' yond wom-med raspberry jam left."

"It's allis me 'at as ter gie way i' this haas," shoo snapped. "It'll throw me awl across if tha starts swappin' stuff raand at shooart nooatice. "Owd on a bit, though. Ah've getten a reight gooid way raand that," an' shoo toddled off inta t' kitchen.

A couple o' minnits at afta shoo comes aat an' angs' a nooatice on t' kitchen door knob. Ah gate up ter get a cloiser look at it as Ethel stood theer, grinnin' lahke a Cheshire cat.

Wen Ah read t' nooatice Ah knew whah. It sed: "Ethel's Caff. Clooased on Shrove Tuesday fer staff 'oliday!"


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