Yorkshire Dialect: Payin' fer Forbidden Fruit
Mike Shaw tells of a childhood misdemeanour which resulted in a very sore bottom.
Ethel an' me wer walkin' past t' schooil t' other day wen we spotted tuthri lads' 'avin a quick fag aat o' t' seet o' t' teychers.
"Tha sees, tahmes dooan't change as much as we think they do," ah sed. "That's t' varry same spot as we used ter gang up fer a drag durin' t' break."
Ethel came ovver awl hoity-toity an' raplahd, "Ah, but we din't know smooakin' wer dangerous i' them days. Ah bet yond lot dooan't know, awther, else they wuhn't touch 'em."
"Dooan't tell me tha wer such a goody two shoes 'at tha din't get up ter summat or other tha shouldn't 'ave done," Ah sed.
Ethel put on a pompous expression an' sed th' ooanly thing shoo could remember wer winda knockin'. "We used ter fix up a button on a long length o' thread," shoo recalled. "Wen we gave it a good pull t' button used ter fair rattle on t' winda."
Ah teld 'er we used ter nick some varry nahce apples aat o' th'orchard at t' big haas next dooar ter t' chapel. "Ah wer nooan reight keen on apples, but it wer wat tha'd call forbidden fruit an' it used ter give us a thrill just ter pick 'em baat bein copped.
"Mahnd thee, we din't allis get away wi' it. Mi dad copped us pinchin' rhubarb fra Jooa Sykes's garden an gave me a reight dressin' daan. "Not ooanly that. 'E sed if ah lahked rhubarb sooa much Ah could 'ave plenty.
"Sooa 'e med mi eyt stewed rhubarb ivvery day fer a week. Mah backsahde wer sorer ner if Ah'd 'ad t' cane bi t' tahme weekend came raand!"
