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Ee By Gum Lord!: Jesus an't' Bairns, an't' Lad wi' t' Brass

...Let t' little bairns come ter me! T' Kingdom of 'Eaven belongs ter childer like these. An' remember this: if tha can't 'umble thissen an' act same as a bairn, tha'll niwer get inter t' Kingdom of 'Eaven.'...

Arnold Kellett translates one of the most famous instructions in the Gospels into his native broad Yorkshire.

To purchase a copy of Anrold's book Ee By Gum, Lord! please click on http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ee+By+Gum%2C+Lord%21&x=10&y=23

One day, when Jesus wor preychin' ter t' crahds, some o' t' mutthers browt the'r little bairns, an' wer' tryin' ter get near 'im so 'e might lig 'is 'ands on 'em, an' bless 'em. T' disciples started tellin' 'em off, an' shovin' 'em back. But then Jesus saw what the' wer' doin' an' 'e wor fewrious.

'Nay!', 'e said. 'Let t' little bairns come ter me! T' Kingdom of 'Eaven belongs ter childer like these. An' remember this: if tha can't 'umble thissen an' act same as a bairn, tha'll niwer get inter t' Kingdom of 'Eaven.'

Then Jesus sammed up t' bairns in 'is arms, ligged 'is 'ands on 'em an' blessed 'em.

Well 'e wor just settin' off ter preych somewheeare else when a youngish chap comes up an' kneels dahn i' front of 'im, an' says:
'Gooid maister, tell mi what Ah mun do ter live fer iwer an' iwer i' this Kingdom o' thine.'

'Tha calls mi gooid', says Jesus. 'Doesn't ta knaw 'at ther's nobbut One 'at's gooid an' that's God? Well, nah. Fust of all tha mun keep t' Commandments.'

'Which commandments?', axes t' lad.

'Tha knaws what Ah mean', says Jesus. 'Tha'll nut murder. Tha'll nut commit adultery. Tha'll nut steal. Tha'll nut lie an' tha mun show respect fer thi fatther an' mutther.'

'Maister', says t' lad. 'Ah've kept all these commandments iwer sin' Ah wor a bairn!'

Well, then Jesus looks at 'im wi't' sooart o' look 'at showed what a grand young feller 'e thowt 'im ter be.

'That's champion', says Jesus. 'But there's one thing mooare 'at tha needs ter do.'

'What's that, maister?', axes t lad.

'Tha mun sell all tha's got an' give all t' brass ter t' poor. Then tha'll 'ave riches in 'Eaven an' tha can come an' bi one o' my disciples.'

Well, tha should 'a' seen this lad's face! 'E looked reight dahn i' t' dumps. T' fact is, tha sees, 'e wor reight well-ter-do, wi' no end o' brass. An', sad an' crest-fallen, 'e slowly walked away an't' disciples niwer saw 'im ner mooare.

'Ah', says Jesus, 'What a job rich fowk 'ave ter get inter t' Kingdom of 'Eaven! It's easier fer a gurt big camil ter squeeze through t' ee of a needle!'

'Well, then', says one o' t' disciples, "Ah can onny of us bi saved, if chaps like yond can't get in?'

'Iwerything's possible wi' God', says Jesus.

Then Simon Peter blurted aht, same as 'e oft did:
'Nay, Lord! Us lads 'ave left ivverything ter foller thee! What abaht us?'

'Well', says Jesus. 'If tha's left be'ind 'ome, an' wives, an' bairns, an' brutthers an' sisters, an' mutther an' fatther, ter serve me an' t' Gospil tha'll get all this back a hundred times ower. An' in t' next world tha'll live fer iwer ... But ther's monny 'at's fust nah 'at 'll bi last then, an't' last nah 'at 'll bi t' fust then.'

T disciples wer' scrattin' the'r 'eeads ower what this could mean, when Jesus started talkin' abaht goin' ter Jerewsalem, wheeare 'e'd bi ta'en an' put ter deeath ... An' that wor summat the' could mak no sense on at all.

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