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Got The T-Shirt: Jean’s Genes

Good-humoured Steph Spiers expresses a profound longing for bootcut hipsters.

In the great eternal plan
would it have hurt any other man,
if t’was not ordained from on high,
could granny’s genes have passed me by?
Could maternal heredity have been exchanged
for DNA of paternity: even if she was deranged?
Mad as a Hatter! Willowy paternal gran
floated light as the breeze and carried a fan
even in the throes of winter.
While mum’s mum – stout of kilter -of stalwart, yeoman-farming stock
on work-worn knees wobbled around her flock.

In the genetic soup of life
t’would have given far less strife
in the designer-jeans department
of this tubby soul’s predicament
if in the lottery of the chromosome,
when cells divide and decide to willy-nilly roam,
decreeing every single which and why
for the lucky of lean butt and elongated thigh.

BUT, WHY NOT FOR ME? . . . at just five foot high
bootcut hipsters remain a longing with every sigh . . .


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