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Around The Sun: The Biggest Bullshit Artist Of Them All

Steve Harrison tells of the man who promised the Earth.

Kevin, bless his heart couldn’t sit on a single bar stool to save his life. He was a big boy, and I mean big! When the motor taxi guys saw his size they tried to get away from him.

He was always friendly. Of course he had been in Cambodia far too long and had everybody on a string.

His boss was the richest man in the world who controlled the gold bullion reserves, he said. He was appointed by the United Nations and whenever the World Bank needed to send money to a country, after all the negotiations had finished, Kevin's boss supposedly would always be the last man to finalise the deals and come along with the goods.

Kevin referred to his boss as His Excellency. He talked of the 1910 Jekyll Island Plan Of The Experts (Jekyll Island, Georgia, USA) which later became the Aldrich Act; the 1921 London Trilateral Tripartite Trilennium Pact Between Nations; and the Bretton Woods Agreement. (New Hampshire, USA, 1944).

He could talk for hours on end about this stuff quoting dates and agreements. He always used to make me laugh because he would talk about “Freddy Macs” to describe huge financial holdings and transactions. At the hearing of that word I used to think Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. It used to crack me up.

The bottom line was always that money needed to be spent on Cambodian tourism, Kevin said his boss had designated US$200,000,000 (yep, I got the right amount of zeros in there) for this, and Alex and I had performed so well over the first couple of months at The Angkor International Hotel that we had been appointed to receive the above cash to develop Cambodian Tourism.

I though it was the biggest load of bullshit I had ever heard in my life. If Kevin had these connections, then why didn’t he get his teeth fixed so he could chew properly? Or get some decent clothes to wear, or pay his bar and food bill. I was skeptical. I told Kevin "Put a great quantity of money into my bank account and I shall become a believer,''

My partner Alex on the other hand believed every word of it. We were going to have one of the biggest tourism industries in the history of man. We were going to build the biggest and the best hotels and resorts the world had ever seen. And every week we were getting closer and closer to the big pay day. I suppose in a way it kept Alex alive.

It was certainly true that in the first couple of months the Angkor International Hotel had gone forward in leaps and bounds. The Temple bar had gone from a customer base of two, to rockin’ and rollin’ most every night. So yes we had worked wonders. Trouble was the tourists dried up in the wet season, eight months of the year, and so did our business.

Kevin kept coming and feeding fuel to Alex’s fire, Kev's accommodation and food bill developed to match him size for size. Meanwhile Alex rubbed his hands, waiting for the windfall of the century.

Some folk are just meant to be fooled.

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