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A Potter's Moll: What's Orange And Sounds Like A Parrot?

...When I have an eye test, I always feel there must be a right answer to the question ‘Is this better or that?’ When I told him this, the optician replied that I had an 11+ mentality thinking there must always be a right answer....

Liz Robison has some new glasses to give her a better view from her snow-bound lair in the Yorkshire hills.

Happy New Year from our snow-covered hills here in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire. This is the worst and most prolonged snow for thirty years. We live at the top of a steep hill where the parked cars on the lane mean the gritters cannot get here even if they wanted to. Under today’s fresh inundation there is a two-week old skating rink! I am getting fed up of it now and cabin fever threatens.

One of my biggest Christmas season treats was a last minute invitation to use a ticket for the Classic FM concert by the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra in the magnificent venue of Huddersfield Town Hall. They were conducted by a young Czech with verve and gusto. The Vltava section of Smetana’s Ma Vlast and the final Dvorak symphony were spine tingling and he conducted the Dvorak without a score. I’ve been to many splendid orchestral concerts but this one really was a notch above.

I have also been enjoying a small book called Classic Ephemera by Darren Henley and Tony Lihoreau full of anecdotes, summaries of opera plots, quotes and stories of what composers and musicians think of each other. A very good read as well as informative.

Just to quote one example, said by a US radio personality, Ed Gardner:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings.

I got some new glasses recently – I usually wear contact lenses, so these are mainly for emergencies. For the first time in my life, the technology has moved on to where the lenses no longer look like bottle-bottoms and I would quite happily be seen wearing them. (It’s a myth about the second pair being FREE, though)

I first started wearing glasses when I was eleven and I realised that I could not see the blackboard when I kept being told off for copying from the girl next to me. They were the awful NHS wire rimmed ones. Then I graduated to the pink plastic frames. After a while they broke across the bridge and my Dad mended them by drilling a hole in each side and threading fuse wire through.

I know for a fact that when an extant photo of my extended family was taken in a relative’s garden in 1954 I was hiding upstairs.

When I have an eye test, I always feel there must be a right answer to the question ‘Is this better or that?’ When I told him this, the optician replied that I had an 11+ mentality thinking there must always be a right answer.

He also said that I wear my contact lenses for rather a long time each day. When I said that I had been doing this for over thirty years he said ‘Well we want you to be able to go on doing it for another thirty years.’ Which makes me smile at the idea of a 90 plus year old me still struggling with the little glass discs.

The weather has caused the postponement of our choir Christmas party and my U3A Dining Club speaking engagement is cancelled. I really don’t remember such prolonged adverse weather. It’s not even pretty any more.

Is it too late for a few Christmas cracker type jokes? Actually these were quoted from well-known comedians in a weekend magazine.

Q. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot.

My mate is allergic to rice.
He’s basmatic

Q. What is Tiger Woods’ wife getting for Christmas?
A. Half of everything.

More from me in a fortnight, I hope.

**

Do please visit the Web site of Liz's husband, potter Jim Robison http://www.jimrobison.co.uk/

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