Open Writing

...'Funnily enough, they asked me exactly the same question. So I told them. "Reginald Blain" I said.'

'Mr Blain isn't a rapist,' they said.

'Well why have you got him locked up in that room along the corridor?'...

Oh, the misterstandings which arise when you fail to properly read a sign!

Alan Nolan continues his sparkling account of a trek across England.

To purchase a copy of Ancient Fe
During the evening, I had discovered more about Andy's day.

'There was a bit of a misunderstanding at the hospital when I asked about the rapist,' he said.

'What rapist?'Tom asked.

'Funnily enough, they asked me exactly the same question. So I told them. "Reginald Blain" I said.'

'Mr Blain isn't a rapist,' they said.

'Well why have you got him locked up in that room along the corridor?'

'Which room?'

'The one with the sign on the door saying Reginald Blain, the rapist.'

'That doesn't say the rapist,' one of them said,'it says Reginald Blain, Therapist.'

'It was a pity really because one of the nurses fancied the pants off me but she seemed to go off me a bit after that.'

'I wonder why?'Tom reflected.

'Anyway, instead of spending the afternoon playing doctors and nurses, I ran a few errands for Joe in Keswick.' It transpired that Joe had been talking to Tom on Friday evening about his walking poles, his interest having been aroused by his attack of cramp that afternoon. Tom had been having problems with his knees for the last year or two and had taken to using walking poles and wearing a bandage on his right knee. Actually, he needed bandages on both knees but thought that wearing two would make him look even more of an old crock, so struggled to get by with one.

Having observed his use of the walking poles, Joe asked him about them and Tom explained that he found that they helped him to relieve some of the pressure on his knees by taking some weight on his arms. He told Joe that they cost him £25 but what he omitted to tell him was that he had bought them at a discounted price. Knowing that Andy was going into Keswick, Joe asked him to buy him some poles (and a knee bandage) if he had time to do any shopping after his hospital visit. He was delighted when Andy presented them to him on the Saturday night. 'How much do I owe you?'

'£52.50,'Andy replied, with a big grin, obviously feeling very pleased with himself.

'Bugger off. How much were they really?'

'The poles were £25 each and the bandage was £2.50.'

'You were robbed, or rather I've been robbed. And £2.50 for a bandage? You've been to the hospital haven't you? You could have told them you've got a bad knee as well as blisters and they'd have given you a bandage for nothing. I won't be able to afford dinner tonight now. Don't think you're going to get a job as my personal shopper,' he grumbled.