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Letter From The Other Side: Politicians - Where Do They Come From?

...I donít know anyone who likes them, would like to become one when they grow up, wants to marry one or cohabit with one or readily admits to being related to one in the presence of anyone over the age of three...

Cynthia (Liz Thompson) thinks that politicians are a seperate species to the rest of us and is wondering where they come from.

To read more of Cynthia's hugely entertaining common-sense letters to her friend Del on the other side of the state please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/letter_from_the_other_side/

And do visit Liz's blog spot

Dear Del,

Have you ever asked yourself where politicians come from?

There seems to be a pandemic of elections in the offing around the world at present and we are not immune.

We have the misfortune of expecting a state election and a federal election soon giving us all very little time to catch our collective breath and cool our addled brains after all the gabbled and garbled advertisements between them both. We will barely have the time to shred or compost all the mail-outs and leaflets which will be flowing into our mail boxes from politicians suddenly keen to make our acquaintances and assuring us they have our very best interests at heart and always have done. They stand smiling on our doorsteps like long lost relatives while dreaming of the coming moment when we would elect them to be the messiahs of our little part of the world.

It is a nightmare scenario.

I have in the course of my life spoken with a few politicians and seen them at work and in more relaxed circumstances. I have never warmed to any of them and whichever party they were representing had nothing to do with colouring my views.

They seem to be a separate species to the rest of us and I have been wondering where they actually come from.

I donít know anyone who likes them, would like to become one when they grow up, wants to marry one or cohabit with one or readily admits to being related to one in the presence of anyone over the age of three.

Is there a special humidified place where they are genetically constructed in a particularly formed womb which is only able to produce the politician breed? It is a puzzle.

Each one must be especially endowed with selective hearing to enable them to avoid unpleasant truths and questions put to them by mere mortals. All of which they canít or wonít answer. Their skin must be much thicker than any humanís and their eyesight must be very special to enable them to see our sick and fractured world through eyes in such a way they remain convinced of their invincibility to keep it going without leading us all into complete annihilation.

This special eyesight also allows them to see into the future and tell us exactly the type of utopia we can all expect if we would only listen to them.

There are some REAL people from the REAL world who try to become politicians but of course they have little hope. Many of us recognise them and vote for them but the strength of the SPECIES POLITICIAN and those other REAL POLITICIANS backing them will inevitably win.

Should the unthinkable happen and a REAL person actually by some absolute fluke make it into a parliamentary seat, they will inevitably be hunted. If they resist, their emotions and morals are sucked out of them and their body ejected out the door of the parliament by the SPECIES POLITICIAN to spend the rest of their lives as a sick and broken sub-human wandering the land.

What can we do about it?

I suspect that which has always been doneÖ.nothing.

No REAL human wants the job when they have watched what has happened to others. The pay is not comparable with private sector pay, the home life is negligible, the early death rate is high and everyone dislikes them and is willing to tell them how they should be doing their job. It isnít a very good career summary really is it?

I suspect we shall all just moan our way through more of the empty promises the rosy outlooks, the dire warnings of doom if we vote from the other party and accept what happens in the way we usually do.

Other countries have revolutions and wars but live to regret their actions when the people they put in power turn out to be REAL POLITICIANS they hadnít recognised and are just as awful as the ones they replaced.

So far throughout our short history Australians have gone about getting their way pretty well. We have done it without wars and revolution using our basic traits of tenacity, a will to survive no matter what our harsh environment throws at us whether it is drought, bushfire, plagues or as is happening at present, thousands of square kilometres of damaging floods. We have a very strong collective will to defeat any opponent from without or within and we posses what some people tell us, is an ironic sense of humour they find hard to understand. When coupled with a highly developed amount of inertia it is a difficult mixture to dominate.

As a nation we have been largely ignored by the rest of the world and allowed to get on with our own way of doing things. Our lack of respect for anyone pompous enough to try and tell us how to live is sneered at as we continue to do things our own way.

After a while the REAL POLITICIANS who are bred for speed-talking and debate find we have all gone to the football, cricket or beach and they have no one to talk to or debate with, leaving them to feel free to slink off out of the spotlight.

Teddy and I have a good supply of C.Dís and books for the coming tide of talking heads on the television and will do our law abiding duty and vote, hoping that just once it may result in something good or at least, not worse.

Happy walking on your beach Del,

from your incredibly cynical

ĎFlower childí friend,




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