Open Writing

I am entangled in the world wide web as surely as a fly is entrapped by a spider, but unlike the fly I don’t want to get out.

I do want a bigger memory. I want a softer chair. I want a search engine that reads my mind. I want a drink of water. But I don’t want to quit, not even one little bit, which was not the case with the fly.

When I was very, very, young and stories read to me I felt angry at the spider and sorry for the fly. What was a child to think when these words passed before her eye:

Will you walk into my parlor? said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy;

Get out of there I trembled to the little fly. That spider’s going to get you and you will surely die.

But times do change and children grow and no one knows quite what’s inside her. If I knew then what I know now I’d be rooting for the spider.

The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show you when you are there.

Just another minute I whisper to myself, my nose touching the monitor, my glasses on the shelf. Better not, my conscience warns me, a long night is ahead. I’m not about to disagree, I’ll go upstairs to bed.

Oh no, no," said the Fly, "to ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

I can so, I tell myself. I have not one thing to fear. I guess I’ll read my email before I’m out of here.

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend, what can I do
To prove that warm affection I've always felt for you?

Warm affection? What is that? Since I started logging on my family is no more. I haven’t go the time to chat and they think I’m a bore.

“Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind sir, that cannot be
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

I do. I do. I wish to see. I wonder what there is to read on MSNBC? And I need to check what books Amazon.com has picked for me. I shouldn’t feel on guard, but I’ve heard what things can happen when I use my credit card.

"Sweet creature," said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!

Actually, I do feel pretty good about myself whenever I’m online. I have a secret password and my logon name’s divine.

But first I must make a stop. My doctor says I must try. Since the time I drowned my keyboard with a can of soda pop I’ve declined all beverages and my throat is feeling dry.

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again;

I’m getting hungry, this I know, I’d better fix a snack. Into the kitchen, here I go... but what about my Mac?

And now dear little children who may this story read
To idle silly flattering words I pray you ne’er heed
Unto an evil counsellor close heart, and ear, and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the Spider and the Fly.

My monitor is beeping. I’m coming, I’m coming I scream. No I don’t want you sleeping. You must have had a dream. I see questions on my screen as I stumble toward my chair. My dog Pile is begging to Fetch and Eudora is starting to swear.

Yes, yes, I do want to save, no I don’t want to shut down. I’m coming dot.com it, I’m coming. Please promise you won’t misbehave.