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Fast Fiction: Whacked

So was he in Burma, or was he not?

Richard Mallinson's story concerns conversational conflict.

'In Burma, when the mist was on the rice-fields . ..' said Toby.

'I don't know what you mean,' said Bernard.

'I, er, sorry, it's from Kipling,' said Toby. 'What was it you were saying? You must have said something that sparked - '

'No,' said Bernard, 'I didn't say anything about Burma.'

'I don't mean you actually mentioned Burma ... but something must have struck a chord -'

'Now, be honest, Toby, how much d'you really know about Burma?'

'Oh, I was there, long ago . . . '


'But, darling - why on earth were you talking about Burma?'

'Only because old Toby claimed I'd said something which sparked off a quotation from Kipling and after that - '

'Oh dear... it went from bad to worse?'

'Worse than worse . . . bloody awful. You know what he's like.'

'Yes . . . and I suppose he claimed to be an old Burma hand?'


'Come and sit down, darling, you look whacked. What happened?'

'Oh, I was talking to old Bernard about Burma and he simply wouldn't accept that I was there, long ago, before the second world war.'

'Of course you were, darling . . . That's where we met, wasn't it?'

'As Kipling said, we'd heard the east a-calling, hadn't we, my love?'

She smiled at him.

'Ship us somewheres east of Suez, eh, darling?'

His face went slack.

'Too late, my love,' he murmured.


To read more of Richard's fast fiction please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/fast_fiction/


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