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Donkin's World: Headline News - But Not For Every Newspaper

Richard Donkin was pleased to see that one national English newspaper chose not to lead its front page with the announcement of a royal engagement.

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How refreshing to find the Independent, alone among the national newspapers led on something other than the Royal engagement. Rather generously, I thought, it devoted two inside pages to the announcement with the addition of a typically venomous Julie Burchill piece.

I was as excited as anyone when I heard the news, thinking "Ooo, another Royal divorce to look forward to." It's all the messy stuff in between I try to avoid. Excelling herself, Burchill managed to compare what she called the "weirdest clan" with both the Munsters and the Addams family in her short column. http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/julie-burchill/julie-burchill-for-kates-sake-lets-hope-her-prince-is-nothing-like-his-dad-2136108.html

The best part about the announcement was that it gave us a day off from the news as the media went in to overdrive speculating on this and that - the wedding dress, the venue, suitable hymns http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GRlB1-Sn78, marriage prospects, future titles etc. without an ounce of knowledge or insight.

Unfortunately Gill likes this sort of thing so I had to sit through part of the One Show, relieved slightly by Giles Brandreth's remark that Kate Middleton had waited long enough to know Prince William was going to be bald.

What a pity the interviewer, Tom Bradby, didn't ask them if they were in love. It would have been the perfect opportunity for the prince to say that yes they were and that yes he knew the meaning of love. That would have been one in the eye for the old man.

In spite of my cynicism, I hope they make it (whatever that means), but the odds are stacked against them in our media crazy world. Yesterday was the start of the open season when the media will go in to overdrive, gnawing over every detail of Middleton's past. I'm sure there'll be no surprises. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_uKO6LIWLA

But you have to worry about the carbon footprint of this wedding in newsprint alone. Beyond the couple there's the supporting cast. The parents, already groomed and blooded in favourite Royal pursuits http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325740/Prince-William-Kate-Middleton-Royal-wedding-sights.html, will be regarded as fair game for the tabloids. But it will be Kate Middleton herself who will dominate the spotlight.

She should bear in mind that there's still time to escape, right up to that moment at the altar. How dramatic it would be to witness a right Royal jilting with a Dustin Hoffman figure replicating that scene in The Graduate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9eIXN6Sp40 Now that would be a day to remember. Imagine having the power to walk away from a royal marriage ceremony and the brass neck to do it. Anne Boleyn may yet have her revenge.

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