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An Englishman In New York: Cosmo Attacks Mongol Hordes

So will those Mongolian ladies be eager to learn how to drink yak's milk without gagging?

Columnist David Thomasesson is less that impressed by Cosmopolitan magaszine's latest oversdeas expansion plans.

Do visit David's Web site http://www.britoninnewyork.com/

For the expansively-named, one-track minded ladies self-help instruction manual, Cosmopolitan, no country is safe as it seeks to boldly go where others fear to tread, or even eke out a living. It was recently announced that the magazine will soon issue a Mongolian edition; as in Mongolia, Asia http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=47.9166666667,106.883333333&spn=10.0,10.0&q=47.9166666667,106.883333333%20(Mongolia)&t=h. One wonders about the viability of the readership base.

Mongolia is a landlocked country bordered by Russia and China, Ulaanbaatar http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=47.9166666667,106.916666667&spn=0.1,0.1&q=47.9166666667,106.916666667%20(Ulan%20Bator)&t=h being the capital. The Mongol Empire was founded by Genghis Khan http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genghis_Khan in 1206 but struggled until 1921 to establish independence from China. In 1924, the Mongolian People's Republic was declared, and Mongolian politics suffered under the heavy hand of their soviet neighbors. Call it what you may, but it probably wasn’t a republic and definitely not the peoples. A democratic revolution occurred in 1990 which led the country’s transition to a market economy.

Mongolia is the 19th largest and the most sparsely populated independent country in the world, with a population of around 2.9 million people. It is also the world's second-largest landlocked country after Kazakhstan. The country contains very little arable land, as much of its area is covered by steppes, with mountains to the north and west and the Gobi Desert http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=48.0,107.0&spn=1.0,1.0&q=48.0,107.0%20(Gobi%20Desert)&t=h to the south. About 20% of the population lives on less than US$1.25 per day. Yup, that’s all. Mongolia has become more urbanized with about 40% of the population living in the capital, where the males are known as Maaster Baatars. Back in 2002, about 30% of all households scraped a living from livestock breeding, with animal herders following a pattern of nomadic or semi-nomadic pastoralism.

One of Mongolia’s main festivals is Naadam http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naadam, which consists of the Mongolian traditional manly manly sports of archery and long distance horse-racing over open country, usually culminating in the capture of neighboring peoples. In addition, the khoomei, or throat singing, style of music is popular in parts of Western Mongolia. This is similar but not to be confused with throat clearing and gobbing on the sidewalk.

Now let’s think a bit about this. Cosmo guarantees advertisers a minimum circulation base of about 3 million. Given the US population of 310 million, half are female resulting in a 2% readership. The Mongolian folks total 3 million, so using the same math with half being female one could argue that 60,000 people will buy it. Given that 30% practice a nomadic lifestyle, and may not get to the local magazine store, we’ll assume that it’s the capital dwellers (40%) that are the only ones likely to buy the magazine; we’ve now reduced the potential market to 24,000. Now some of these are really too young or old to be interested so we’ll exclude the 32% who are under 14 and over 65, then reduce for the half that won’t buy it, And what have we got, a likely circulation of 8,000. Well, good luck with that Mr. Hearst.

Anyway the first issue will include the following articles, guaranteed to titillate and put a smile on even the more repressed yak herder:

• How to drink yak's milk without gagging

• Four ways to get your man (there should be ten I know, but have you seen the women?)

• Three ways to dress for your man (there should be five but there’s only so much you can do with tents)

• Top ten techniques to spice up your love-life – best tip, turn off the light


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