Open Writing

The next week I moved back home. This made Mama ecstatic. I think she saw Mrs. Douglas as trying to steal what was rightfully hers, one of her children. She would later say she feared Mrs. Douglas might try to force her to give me up.

The family was very excited when I returned. Willie and Jessie wanted to know everything about my life with the Douglas family. I entertained them with all the stories I could think of, especially those involving Mr. Douglas who was a wonderful man with a good sense of humor. At first my brothers were a tiny bit envious of my experience. They might have been resentful, too. They accused me of being "uppity" when I tried to show everyone proper manners.

"Sit down here," I urged. "I'll show you how to act at the table, but first you have to wash your hands."

"I'm not gonna wash my hands if I'm just gonna play like I'm eatin'," Jess said.

"OK, then, just sit down!"

I took a knife, spoon, and fork from the can in the middle of the table, and a plate from the cabinet and made a place setting. I ignored the fact that we didn't have enough utensils to properly set the table for everyone.

"You must put your napkin in your lap before you start passing the food," I said, pulling my back very straight. There may have been a tad of Mrs. Douglas in my voice. "And you should pass each bowl of food to the right after takin' some for yourself."

"It's not gonna work," Jess said, interrupting my instructions. "In the first place, we don't have any napkins, and in the second place passin' stuff that way would take too long."

"It will not take too long! That's the way you're supposed to eat, and you're supposed to ask if you may be excused before leaving the table."

"Excused for what? I ain't done nothin' wrong yet," Jess retorted.

"Jess, shut up and listen," Willie said, shaking his head. She's trying to tell us somethin' for our own good."

Phyllis and Reita had joined the learning circle although they were too little to remember anything I told them. Eager to participate, Phyllis asked, "What am I 'posed to do?"

Reita, just tall enough to peek over the edge of the table said nothing. But her blue eyes took everything in. Mama, who was at work that day, was unaware of my lesson, but I'm sure she would have approved. Any improvement in her brood would be welcomed as long as it was not motivated with criticism and ridicule.

I continued to offer advice but knew the race was lost when at supper that evening an argument erupted over who would get the last biscuit. I did notice a few feeble attempts at good manners by the group as time went on. My siblings got over their envy and teasing but I never stopped trying to make things better in the family because I had learned there was a better way to live.

I brought the toys I had received for Christmas home with me but I did not play with them. I knew better. My sisters were too young to understand how to be careful with my things and I was afraid they would break my dishes and tear up my doll. When I complained, Mama said, "They're just little girls and if they see you playing with your things and cry for them you will have to let them play too."

So I carefully hid my doll and dish set, along with a large stick of peppermint candy, in the attic above my bed. The other kids had a stick
of candy too, but they quickly ate theirs. I saved mine to eat one piece at a time.

During the day, while Mama and P.G. were at work, Phyllis and Reita, now four and three, usually tagged after me. They must have seen me hide my treasures in the attic. Somehow they managed to climb up on my bed, where they engineered a stack of boxes into a stairway. Balanced precariously, Phyllis then hoisted Reita up onto the rafters. Reita soon uncovered my stash. She then passed my treasures down to Phyllis. They broke my dishes and left my doll out in the rain. They also ate my candy.

I was very angry when I saw what they had done and even angrier that Mama didn't see fit to punish them. Mama reminded me that they were much younger than me. My brothers said I shouldn't have been hording my candy in the first place.

"We were tired of hearing you gnawing on your candy at night," Jessie said. "Yeah," Willie agreed, "All that smacking kept us awake."