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Laugh With Lisa: Kids Are Quick

Lisa DeMarco brings us a week's-worth of good chuckles with this selction of classroom humour.

To buy a copy of Lisa's book please click on http://www.strategicbookpublishing.com/servingupsomefunnyhtml

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

Maria: Here it is, she says as she points to it in the map.

Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

Class: Maria.


Teacher: Johnny, why are you doing your math multiplications on the floor?

Johnny: You told me to do it without using tables.


Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?

Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.

Teacher: No, that is wrong!

Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me to spell it.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

Donald: H I J K L M N O

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.


Teacher: Mike, why do you always get so dirty?

Mike: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.


Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence that starts with “I?”

Millie: I is…

Teacher: No, Millie, Always say, “I am…”

Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted to it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father did not punish him?

Louie: Because George still had the ax in his hand.


Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

Simon: No sir, I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.


Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Clyde: No, sir. It’s just the same dog.


Teacher: Peter, what do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested?

Peter: A teacher.


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