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Bonzer Words!: Be Careful What You Ask For

Colleen McMillan tells a tale concerning pretty Patti Perkins, she with the petulant lips.

Pretty Patti Perkins pursed her petulant lips and uttered her almost perpetual cry, 'I want, I want.'

Her mother, Mrs Penelope Perkins, tired of Patti's proliferating requests proclaimed she'd hear no more—her head was pounding.

Her father, Mr Percival Perkins, a prominent film producer, pretended Patti was perfect, and although he knew little of progressive child rearing he was prepared to permit privileges not permitted by his partner.

Patti's report from her parish school stated, 'poor performance, poor participation.' It suggested parental counselling and pastoral care. 'Our patience is running out,' the principal pronounced. 'Patti's perpetual asking, wanting, will no longer be permissible.'

A plan was put in place. Patti pondered this paradox, no more pampering, earning privileges—and began to panic. She stamped her feet, and generally performed. Her parents remained quite pedantic. Pretty Patti could not have everything she pleased.

Very peeved, Patti asked, 'just one more thing before we proceed, just one more thing before penury.'

Could she, could she, wear her pink and purple party dress, the one so perfect it looked as though it were made from piles of petunia petals, to school?

Mrs Perkins peered at Mr Perkins.

Mr. Perkins peered at Mrs Perkins and they gave a barely perceptible nod. Patti Perkins was placated. They were so easy to persuade. Persistence did pay off.

As she prepared for school a particle of apprehension penetrated Patti's brain. 'Drive me Papa,' she pleaded.
'One privilege you've had,' replied her Pater.

On the bus the hoped for compliments from pupils did not proceed beyond a gasp or two, at school the pedagogues reacted as could be predicted.

The principal, controlling apoplexy on beholding this apparition, packed Patti back to home.

The bus had departed. Ambulation must prevail. Parched and perspiring, the pedestrian reached home, the prospect of parental support and protection providing her with firm purpose.

They, the parents were not there, just a scrap of paper—Your predicament is entirely of your own making.
Patti Perkins sat down and cried in the most piteous way. Perhaps, although she'd have preferred it otherwise, she must be more careful what she asks for.


Colleen writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au


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