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Laugh With Lisa: Cold Water

Lisa DeMarco's latest gag is best read after you have had your breakfast.

A grandfather prepared breakfast for him and his grandson, who was visiting. He made bacon, eggs and toast. However, while eating, his grandson noticed a weird film like substance in his place. He questioned his grandfather, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Just go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny.”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, his grandson was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dry egg. He asked, “Are these plates clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Later that afternoon, the young man was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl and wouldn’t let him pass. He yelled, “Granddad, your dog won’t let me pass.”

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, “Cold Water, go lay down now, ya hear me!”


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