Open Writing

One of the wall clocks started slowing down. When it was about five minutes slow, I thought I'd better replace the battery. Just one C type single cell battery, that's all, and it'll keep working for a few years.

The other wall clock has an electronic chime, operated by a second battery. Because I'm deaf, and don't wear my hearing aids unless there's a visitor, I can't really hear the chime, so I haven't bothered to replace that battery. Rather sad, that. It's a nice chime when you can hear it.

The red and blue lights on the remote control gadget for my hearing aids recently started flashing when I switched to a different program from the choice of four. Strange, I thought — what's wrong? I couldn't find the manual, so asked my audiologist. Simple. It was a sign that the battery was running down. That little AAA alkaline battery has been running nicely for two years.

That's not as long as the tiny battery in my Seiko watch, though. The second hand doesn't start jumping two-at-a-time to signal the forthcoming demise of the battery until about seven years after it has been installed. Marvellous, isn't it?

The tiniest batteries I have to use are those that go into my actual hearing aids, as opposed to the remote control unit. They are size 13 zinc air hearing aid batteries with a capacity of 300mAh, whatever that means. Fumbling fingers stiffening with age and arthritis find it rather difficult to fit them and if one of those miniature things drops onto the floor, you need a search party with floodlights to find it. A silver-coloured hearing aid battery can disappear between the tufts of a beige carpet, you know.
Since typing the above paragraph, I have found an item on a website: 'What are milli-amp hours meaning?'. So mAh means 'milli-Amp-hours' and tells us how many milli-amps the battery will produce in one hour. Another question answered is 'What should pay attention to when using new batteries?' I note that this website is based in Taiwan and California, which could explain its interesting use of English.

It's more interesting to read elsewhere: 'Flashlight is a necessary home appliance in your daily life... To save your trouble, we would like to recommend this 3 LED Hand-pressing Dynamo Flashlight to you. Never looking down upon this small flashlight, they can make your daily life more convenient. This flashlight is always especially in emergency situations, a must-have in dark.' Well, my daily life is more convenient, especially in the dark, because I have one of these very cheap gadgets, and it gives out a satisfactory amount of light.

I had two of them, but the other one stopped working. A friend who is skilled and well versed in these matters informs me that there are on the market several versions which are fakes. The hand-press dynamo whirs round noisily but does nothing. The power comes from a small battery, hidden inside, which has a limited life. And so you've wasted $5.

At the last count, there were five remote control thingummies in this house, each powered by two AAA batteries. My blood pressure monitor needs four AA batteries. To top the lot, a hunting lantern I bought in Africa about 50 years ago needs eight heavy duty D batteries. I never hunted, by the way; I used it for spotting animals in the bush during the night.

And in a kitchen drawer I have some very old lighting aids, maybe 30 years old. They are made in Sweden, not China, for an Australian company that was founded over 100 years ago. They still work, they always work, in conjunction with candles. They're called Redhead safety matches.
© Copyright Brian Barratt 2011

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