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Laugh With Lisa: A Florida Robbery

Lisa DeMarco brings is a real-life chuckle.

When a Florida resident’s house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR/DVD, and even his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a “generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder”. (That’s the way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the police department said that “it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they probably thought they’d hit the big score.”

Later, the victim stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.”

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on the doorstep. The cardboard box was there too, and about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained. Taped to the box was this note which said, “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day.”


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