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Arkell's Ark: Iím Singing As Fast As I Can

ďIf you subscribe to any sort of evolutionary theory then you have to ask yourself as to what weíre evolving? Is this as good as it gets? And do we really deserve such a beautiful place as the Earth? Any half-smart landlord would have evicted us centuries ago,íí writes columnist Ian Arkell.

Itís not that Iím forgetting things or walking round with my fly undone or making inappropriate or unpleasant sounds in public places. And itís not as if a carer has to attach a notice to my shirt giving any concerned passerby details of either my illness or my address.

No, in this regard I am relatively intact. Well, the threads in places are in need of a stitch or two and any psychologist worth their salt might suggest I need a mental heath assessment; but hey, who doesnít at some time?

Itís just that Iím not understanding things. Not at all. I made a conscious decision a couple of years ago that I would no longer worry about matters relating to computers. My reasoning was that if I ignored the presence of computers or put my fingers in my ears and sang, they would go away. Well, they havenít but I am definitely better in my ignorance. People who know me no longer ask me questions about anything computer related so thatís taken a lot of pressure off.

Now, in Australia, we have the Carbon Tax and Emissions Trading Scheme which could cause me more concern and tax my brain even further even I let it. I mean, I spent so much time trying to understand the global warming or non-warming circus and only ended up terribly angst ridden, convinced that I had about one hour to live or was about to burst into flames.

But I learned heaps from that debacle and how important it is to take swift, decisive action. This Carbon Tax thingy is an example. In the interests of both my mental health and general well being, Iíve already stuck my fingers in my ears and am happily singing away. If Iíd done this earlier on more occasions, instead of trying to make sense of the day to day stuff that happens, or getting involved with causes, Iím sure life would have been simpler and less painful.
Iím quite comfortable in my ignorance. Now the next step is to disassociate from the world and all its problems, as absolutely nothing is making sense. Everybody seems intent on killing everyone else or polluting everything or paying $40,000 for a piece of some young actorís hair or $1,000,000 for a 1962 copy of Spiderman magazine which originally cost 12 cents.

And despite the deaths of thousands of people in Japan, a business leader on the Gold Coast in Queensland is concerned at the financial impact itís going to have on the local tourist industry. You see where my confusion comes in? Priorities seem to be all over the place. People are just not making sense. Or am I missing the obvious fact that perhaps they never have?

If you subscribe to any sort of evolutionary theory then you have to ask yourself as to what weíre evolving? Is this as good as it gets? And do we really deserve such a beautiful place as the Earth? Any half-smart landlord would have evicted us centuries ago.

At times like this I usually put my ear to the ground and listen to the earth humming along happily, or watch something really exciting and worthwhile like a spider spinning its web. But Iím worried that I can only do this so many times until Mother Earth finally has some sort of unpleasant news.

Of course this time she may have really bad tidings. But Iím a reasonably rational and sensible person and although any bad news might upset me, Iíll probably move on after any initial panic.

Or Iíll probably just stick my fingers in my ears and sing. Believe me, itís less stressful that way.

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To read Ianís crime novel Who Your Mates Are please click on http://ianarkell.wordpress.com/

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