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Bonzer Words!: A Dog's Breakfast

Margaret Kendrick goes on an entertaining ramble, from bottoms to friends to a stuck finger.

A Dog’s Breakfast—now there is a mess or a muddle or just a new name for my articles. A bit of this, a bit of that and what ever comes up from the Dog’s Breakfast that is my brain.

I’ve just spent four weeks in New Zealand looking after my forty year old son. He developed a pilonidal sinus, a very painful and embarrassing group of hairs that grows into the flesh usually in the area between the buttocks and has to be removed surgically. Poor son, he was the butt (excuse my humour) of so many jokes and having his mother change his dressing twice a day, all the time commenting on how nice his bottom was when he was in nappies must have been a pain in the proverbial!

Friendship is a wonderful thing to have and to give—without it life would not be so bright and beautiful. I’ve had the company of a friend from my High School days over the last two weeks and even though we have lived in different countries for many years we are still very good friends. When we do meet up we just seem to carry on from when we last were together. Friendship spans time and distance. New friendships are great but old ones are special.

Visiting long time friends over the holidays the man of the house went outside to BBQ the meats and found the mozzies waiting for him, so he proceeded to light the citronella flares, only to discover the wick in one had fallen back into the can.

You can guess what happened next. Yes, he put his index finger in to fish it out, then found his finger firmly stuck. No amount of pulling would work. In he came looking rather sheepish and started to apply soap and water. Still the finger was stuck firmly.

Next, tinsnips, which proved blunt and useless. All this time the lady of the house was saying, “I am not taking you to A & E again.”—seems he is a little accident prone.

Meanwhile the finger is swelling and still stuck. Lady of the house takes over and produces the trusty old fashioned can opener which removes the bottom of the can with the oil in it. Finger still swelling and stuck. Then the kitchen scissors are used to finally free said swollen finger and we are all able to laugh out loud and make jokes etc at his expense. Moral of this story is be very careful where you stick your fingers.

I wonder what he will do to entertain us when we next visit.

The garden has been looking really good since some soaking rains in late November and early December while I was in NZ. The Dragon Fruit vines are laden with buds so Hennie will be trying his hand at pollinating (playing moths or fruit bats) again. The Poinciana trees have never shown such brilliant orange/red before, the Bougainvilleas and Hibiscus are a riot of colours. Even the vegetable garden has gone mad.

The Lorikeets, Butcherbirds, Noisy Miners, Magpies, Kookaburras and occasional Rosellas still turn up around 4pm for a little extra food along with two large Water Dragons. I am sorry to say the Buff-banded Rails did not return in the spring, perhaps they will next year.

Now the holiday season over it is time for me to get back into a routine of some sort. I thought about making a New Year resolution to be more organised and structured but on reflection decided to be me and enjoy my time and opportunities while I can. I like that old expression, do not do today what you would rather put off, or something like that.

© Margaret Kendrick


Margaret writes for Bonzer5 magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au


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