Open Writing

After my breakdown I was fragile and vulnerable. I made it clear to Larry that I could no longer deal with his anger and disruptive behavior if our marriage was to survive. Larry agreed.

In spite of his assurances, three months later, on Kelly's birthday, Larry lost his temper. And after an ugly scene, we separated for good. I moved out and stayed with my folks for the rest of that year while the divorce was finalized and we sold our house.

After we finally split up, and to this day, my sons rarely discuss their father with me. His irrational behavior obviously damaged their relationship with him. In looking back, I am sorry that I allowed my determination to make the marriage work to exceed my judgment as to when to give up.

Larry pleaded for me to change my mind. When that didn't work, he tried to delay the process by every means, including suing me for alimony. He did not harass me by calling my folks house because he had a healthy respect for Mama, especially her impatience with people who posed a threat to her children. Larry had no desire to experience it firsthand.

P.G. and Mama were living in Grand Junction where P.G. was working on a horse ranch. I moved into the smaller bedroom of their two-bedroom house where I spent my extra time painting. I stored most of my belongings in Gloria's peach shed for a while. My folks, concerned with my well being, were glad I was living with them. It was good for me too as the intense drama of their old rowdy days was in the past.

For a few months I continued to work for Exxon but I spent every spare hour painting. When Exxon's oil shale project shut down and I refused a transfer, I was unemployed and could paint full time. This change salved my psyche and I began to heal. It wasn't just the antidepressants that were keeping my depression at bay; it was the creative juices that could now flow freely.

My folks were very attentive, practically overseeing every brush stroke, and Mama enthusiastically matted and framed each one of my watercolor paintings. They delighted in my progress. With each painting I was becoming a better artist.

When I had completed about twenty paintings, I shared a show with another artist at the Kimberly Gallery in Grand Junction. To my surprise and satisfaction, many of my paintings sold.

In March 1983, with a couple women friends, I went to Great Falls, Montana to the Charlie Russell Art Show and Auction. It was a wonderful experience and I was fascinated by the "Quick Draw" event that preceded the main auction. Twelve participating artists had forty-five minutes in which to complete a work of art. They worked in various mediums; oil, watercolor, pastel, clay, etc. Hundreds of people milled around watching them work while the clocked ticked. Their Quick Draw pieces were then auctioned to build momentum for the main auction. I was awed by the skill and confidence of these artists. Considering my mediocre skills at that time, I would never have imagined that eight years later, in 1991, for three years running I would be one of the artists in the Quick Draw.