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Bonzer Words!: Thoughts By, For And About Women

"History books are full of the faces of men, board rooms and hospital lobbies are framed with the pictures of men, government resounds with the voices of men, and calendars are printed with the birthdays of men. But not in March. Not on my calendar,'' writes Gloria MacKay.

March is Women’s History Month and all 31 boxes are filled with women—by, for and about—starting with Sunday (or whatever day it is where you are) March first.

1. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. Dave Barry

2. When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. Gail Sheehy

3. Women keep a special corner of the heart for sins they have never committed. Cornelia Otis Skinner

4. There’s only one woman I know who could never be a symphony conductor and that’s the Venus de Milo. Margaret Hillis, past director of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.

5. Women speak two languages—one of which is verbal. William Shakespeare

6. I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. Bella Abzug

7. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat. Lily Tomlin

8. Real women don’t have flushes, they have power surges. Sandra Cabot, Australian physician

9. I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. Elaine Boosler

10. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katherine Hepburn

11. Women have no past, no history, no religion of their own. Simone de Beauvoir

12. Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: “This looks much better on.” On what? On fire? Rita Rudner

13. The little rift between the sexes is astonishingly widened by simply teaching one set of catchwords to the girls and another to the boys. Robert Louis Stevenson

14. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton

15. Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. Homer J. Simpson

16. If you want a thing done well get a couple of old broads to do it. Bette Davis

17. Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them. Oscar Wilde

18. Whether women are better than men I cannot say—but I can say they are certainly no worse. Golda Meir

19. Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. If I hadn't started painting, I would have raised chickens. Grandma Moses

20. What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner. Colette

21 To those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball. Janis Ian

22. What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Mark Twain

23. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Anon

24. I would venture that anon who wrote so many poems without signing them was a woman. Virginia Woolf

25. If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things. Plato

26. I submit to the House that no one has ever objected to women working. The only thing they have ever objected to is paying women for working. Gladys Sturm, Canadian politician

27. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi

28. The world loves a peaceful man, but gives way to a strenuous kicker. Emily Murphy, suffragist

29. It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt

30. Just remember, we’re all in this alone. Lily Tomlin

31. For women there are, undoubtedly, great difficulties in the path, but so much the more to overcome... No woman should say, ‘I am but a woman!’ What more can you ask to be? Margaret Mitchell, astronomer

© Gloria MacKay


Gloria edits Bonzer magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au


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