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Laugh With Lisa: Pharmacy Blues

Lisa DeMarco tells of a crazy morning at the pharmacy.

The local pharmacy chain is just a few blocks down from my house, so I decided I would stop there first. This way I would get my mother’s medications to her as quickly as possible, so she won’t keep calling to remind me about it all day.

I figured the drive-thru would be best. There was only one car in the lane ahead of me. An older lady in an old Sedan. The car had a handicap license plate and an electric scooter attached to the back bumper, and with that I should have known to pull away. But no, I was silly enough to wait nearly ten minutes before the light bulb went off in my head saying go inside the store.

Unfortunately, by the time I actually considered backing up and out of the lane, someone pulled in behind me, making my escape impossible. I am not exactly sure what this woman was doing at the drive-thru window, because it appeared like she was shopping and not just simply picking up a prescription or two, but I couldn’t really tell what was going on. I just know it was taking a really long time.

Nearly 28-minutes later and about four or five cars lined up behind me, someone in one of the back vehicles decided they’d had enough, and they drove out of the line and into the parking lot. This thankfully caused a trigger effect, as other cars followed. Still, me and the guy behind me remained.

Suddenly, I noticed from my rearview mirror that the gentleman behind me was motioning to me if I wanted him to back up so I could get out. Thrilled, I motioned back “YES” with a smile. He slowly drifted his car back far enough for me to escape. I turned into the right lane, and as I did, I noticed a store attendant walking out to the curb in front of us. She was carrying two plastic grocery bags filed with several household items, such as toilet paper and mouth wash. The lady in the car that has now occupied the drive-thru window for over a half an hour turns her car on and pulls out directly at the driver’s side of me car. Luckily I had slowed down enough to see what was going on, sp that she didn’t hit me, because she was totally oblivious to me even being present. And the young girl from I the store was coming outside to bring this crazy woman her stuff.

She actually drove up to a drive-thru pharmacy window and had the clerk walk around and gather her specific items on a list, charge her credit card while she sits in her car, and then have it carried out to her, because store policy forbids it’s employees to say, “FLIP OFF!” What a joke. I was amazed. How outright rude, I thought. But again, oh, well. Move on. Move on. So I parked my car and walked in the store and back to the pharmacy department.

There, on the line in front of me, were all the people that were behind me in the drive-thru line outside, who managed get away from “lazy lady” before me. So now, again, I had to try and wait patiently. The only bonus point in all that was listening to the employees whispering about “lazy lady” and how ridiculous it was that they had to cater to her. Apparently, the customers has a habit of shopping this way and the staff has tried to discourage it, but no one has had the nerve to set her straight. On occasion, I overheard, other customers have come in and actually ask the attendant to grab then some kind of medically related product, while picking up a prescription, but again even they seemed really annoyed by the whole experience. I as a customer could openly say that I believe people who have more than a prescription to pick up in a pharmacy “PICK-UP” window than you should park your car and take your butt inside. Drive-thru, “quick lane.” Hello.

Finally, my turn. “What’s the name,” the lady asked. I answered. She walked over to the baskets and started shuffling through the packages. “When was it dropped off,” she asked. “The doctor called it in yesterday,” I replied. She looked around some more and than walked over by the pharmacist to check the pile of medications he was working on. Nope. Nothing. “What was the prescription for,” she asked. My face must have went to a blank stare, because the young lady than asked, “Are you picking up for someone else?”

“Yes,” I said, “My mother. I backed out of the line and called my mother on my cell phone. “Hey, I’m over here at CVS and they said they don’t have any prescription for you. The doctor never called it in,” I said. “Oh, no, he did. I know he did. It was ready yesterday, but I never went to get it,” she said.

Thinking to myself, that can’t be because I am standing here and they are telling me that they do not have anything in your name.” There is a moment of silence. Then, my mother chimes in, “Where are you?” “At the store my, picking up your medicine.” “I know that,” she said with a bit of attitude. “Did you say you’re at CVS?” “Yeah, ma.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I use the new Walgreens now. I like it better.” Felling my head start to get hot, I said, “Great, ma. I guess I’ll go over there than and pick up your stuff, now that I know it isn’t over here.” To which she replied, “You know, don’t even bother, I think I’ll go out myself and get it.”

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