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Double Cream: Oh dear! what can the matter be?

Oh what a to-do when the teachers were locked in the staff room!

Robert Taylor brings us a chuckle-rich poem.

Dh dear, what can the matter be,
The head went out and absentmindedly,
locked the staff room door, with his own key
and the teaching staff, are in there.

The head's gone to the bank, with a bag full of money.
He locked the wrong door and the staff, think it's funny. They've laughed 'til they cried, now their tears are all runny and no one knows they're locked in.

It isn't the only thing, the head has forgotten.
There was the Monday staff meeting
which the staff, think is rotten.
Now they're saying three cheers to their head Mr. Cotton.
Now they're ever so glad they're locked in.

Now it's well after one, there's a knock on the door.
They should have been teaching, fifteen minutes before.
They slip a wee note, straight under the door.
Saying, 'Help! We're all locked in here!'

The children who find it, work out what to do,
They can't help but giggle, but the teachers do too.
Except Mrs. Clark, who is needing the loo.
But at least someone knows they're in there.

The caretaker's arriving, with a spare key.
He's swearing and cursing, as he lets them all free.
They've disturbed him, while he was watching T.V.
The first test has started today!

The children are happy, they've been longer at play.
The staff, have been happy, while the head's been away.
And the cancelled staff meeting, is a bonus they say!
And a dinner time with three cups of tea. Ole!!


Joyce Worsfold and Robert Taylor, the authors of Double Cream, are brother and sister and have spent most of their working lives teaching children in Yorkshire. They have written together since child-hood, producing poetry, stories, plays, musicals, song lyrics and monologues. Over 30 years they have performed their work for many audiences mostly in the North of England and Scotland, delighting thousands and bringing them both laughter and tears.

Joyce can be contacted for bookings at
telephone 01924 840 847

Robert can be contacted for bookings at
telephone 01830 520 344


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