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Feather's Miscellany: Dick Dedhed

John Waddington-Feather brings us a poem in West Yorkshire dialect.

Dick Dedhed were a moorland man,
Lived way aht in the sticks,
An’ thowt of even theer as dumb,
Abaht as breet as bricks.

One Monday in the afternooin
Two city-slickers stopped,
An’ ast Dick Dedhed weer they were,
For they hed getten lost.

Dick scrat his heead an’ thowt a while,
An’ then said: ”Thou art ‘ere.”
At which the driver rudely said:
“He’s two-plank thick, I fear.”

Dick gurned unmoved by the reply,
An’ made his awn riposte:
“Ah’m net the one that’s two-plank thick –
It’s thee that’s getten lost!”

John Waddington-Feather ©

Aht = out; thowt = thought; theer = there; abaht = about; breet = bright; afternooin = afternoon; ast = asked; weer = where; getten = got; scrat = scratched; heead = head; gurned = grinned; awn = own; Ah’m

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